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You have a few options when it comes to passing drug tests. There’s always natural detox, but that takes time and forewarning. Detox shampoos, drinks or pills are another option, but they’re not quite 100% reliable. Our third option is dodging the drug test entirely using fake pee. It may sound ridiculous, but as the saying goes, “If it’s stupid but it works, it’s not stupid.”
Because drug tests have been terrorizing drug-users for decades, there have been a lot of synthetic urine brands that have popped up on the market. Some are pretty much just colored water. Some are a bit better and can pass a cursory glance, but will fail at the lab. And some are so real, that would be real urine if they just came from a human! This high-quality synthetic urine can pass even the most intensive testing.
We’ve tested a lot of brands to find out which brands are worth buying. And today, we’re going to apply that test to Ultra Pure.
So let’s go see how Ultra Pure stacks up against all the other options out there.
Ultra Pure: How Does It Stack Up?
This particular brand of synthetic urine is made by Ultra Klean, which advertises itself with the tagline “The Ultimate Line of Detox Products”. Aside from the fake pee, they also sell detox drinks, mouthwashes for saliva tests, shampoo for hair tests, drug test strips, and even apparel. An impressive lineup, but we’ll see how well they hold up.
So you’ve just bought an Ultra Pure synthetic urine kit. Open the box, and you’ll find:
- A 2oz bottle filled with pre-mixed Ultra Pure synthetic urine
- A temperature strip to attach to the bottle
- A heating pad
- A flip-top cap for easy pouring
- A rubber band to secure the heat pack to the bottle
It also comes in discreet packaging, so no worries about nosy neighbors wondering what that box is that just got delivered to your front door. Shelf life is three years, but once you open the bottle, it has to be used within seven days, or it goes bad. The box holds pretty much the standard kit, but really, a rubber band? When everyone else has heating pads with adhesive strips, a rubber band doesn’t look very good next to the competition.
While not a good start, it’s not crippling; after all, duct tape is a wonderful implement with many and varied uses. So, how is it used?
- At home, give the bottle a good shake to ensure the formula is well-mixed, then toss it into the microwave for ten seconds to get the heat up.
- After microwaving, attach the temperature strip. If necessary, attach the heat pad as well. It’ll need about 45 to 60 minutes to reach working temperature, and the pad is good for six hours.
- Affix the bottle to your body. Best locations are on the upper thigh, in your underwear, or against the stomach. This will keep it warm using your body heat to ensure it’s at the right temperature.
- When the time comes, check the temperature strip to ensure it’s at the correct temperature. You want it to be at 94 to 96 degrees to not arouse suspicion by the testers.
- Give the bottle a shake, again to ensure proper mixing and to remove any clumps, and also to give it a few bubbles. Then pour into the cup and submit.
The lab tech will accept and send it in for testing. With some luck, you’ll hear back with a positive test.
How Do Drug Tests Work?
All fake pee is made to beat urine tests, so it’s worth it to examine how a urine test works.
Urine tests are the most common drug tests you’ll see for several reasons; they’re cheap, they can return fast results, they’re easy to collect, and they have a good detection window.
Drug use can be seen in urine for about a week or more depending on what precise drug has been used. Interestingly, marijuana can be detected for much longer than other drugs, due to the fat-soluble nature of THC.
The testers will be checking the urine itself to see if it actually is urine. Urine is 91% to 96% water, mingled with a bunch of other substances like creatinine, uric acid, and urea.
Lesser-quality fake pee fails tests because it doesn’t incorporate enough ingredients. Some, for instance, say uric acid and urea are the same things when tested, and thus, only incorporate uric acid into their mixture. That may have been true years ago, but labs look for both now, so fake pee has to be much better than that.
Plus there are other factors: pH level and specific gravity among them. Basically, fake pee has to be as close to real pee as possible to pass.
This is why it pays off to go for the best possible synthetic urine. If you skimp on quality and get caught, that can be even worse than just a plain failure! If you fail a drug test, and you might be made to enter rehab, or at the worst, lose your job. But if you get caught with fake urine, you’ll be facing charges of fraud, which will include fines or imprisonment.
It is definitely possible to cheat a drug test with good-quality synthetic urine (here’s the one we recommend), but there are a lot of duds out there. So don’t cheap out.
Our Opinions On Ultra Pure
Quite frankly, a critical read of their site, their product descriptions, and their claims all draw skepticism. To start with, their claims are quite outlandish, starting from a 500% money-back guarantee in case a product fails to deliver expected results.
At the bottom of their page is a disclaimer that states “Individual results may vary, however, since 2002 our dissatisfaction rate is less than 1%.”
The product description for Ultra Pure proudly says that they’ve never reformulated it since it was first made in 1997. This is not reassuring when urine tests are getting better and better, and old brands are falling by the wayside because they didn’t keep up. What Ultra Pure is saying is that they’ve stagnated and are resting on their reputation.
Their ‘1% dissatisfaction rate’ is easily disproved by looking around for reviews. Practically every success story is matched by a failure. One reviewer didn’t even get to his the lab test, on receiving the sample, gave it a glance, then rejected it because the temperature and color weren’t right. On the whole, reviews of Ultra Pure are mixed.
In terms of practical restrictions, they don’t ship Ultra Pure to Illinois, Kentucky, New Jersey, or Pennsylvania. That’s only four states out of fifty, but that still means you’re out of luck with them if you live in those four states. Further, they don’t ship to PO boxes, and insist on a physical address. Less of an inconvenience than it was fifty or sixty years ago, but still another downside in the currently very long list.
We’ve noticed several points of failure, some of which also drew the eye of other reviewers. The temperature strip isn’t the most accurate. The formula also has a nasty habit of not mixing properly.
All these flaws mean that using Ultra Pure comes down to a throw of the dice. Pass? Fail? Who knows?
When it comes right down to it, why gamble on products like Ultra Pure when there are better products on the market?
Mixing It All Together
Ultra Pure boasts a lot! But they have a record of falling short. When the stakes are as high as they are, you can’t afford to get anything less than the best.
Right now, Quick Fix is the best (read full review here).
Not only do they cut the boasting, they even include a version number so you’re sure that you’ve got the latest formulation. Currently, Quick Fix stands at version 6.2.
Quick Fix has a much less ambiguous success rate, mainly because the mixture that Quick Fix uses in their product is identical to the product drug testers use to calibrate their equipment. Plus they have a better selection of accessories (honestly, Ultra Pure, a rubber band?).
It may be a bit more expensive, but you’re paying for that track record of reliable success. Everything about Quick Fix, from the formula itself to the accessories, works much better.
On the whole, we’d much rather go with Quick Fix than Ultra Pure. The track record speaks for itself, and given the potential consequences, you can’t settle for anything less.