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Drug tests suck. Even at their mildest, they keep you anxious about your job security or whether you can land a job in the first place. All for what: To punish people for enjoying themselves?
Luckily, The drug community has always been creative about protecting itself, and so nowadays it’s not an automatic death sentence to be caught off-guard by a drug test if you prepare yourself. And yes—you can definitely prepare yourself for a random drug test with the right products and practices.
In this guide, we explore the methods of preparing for a drug test and passing it in the first place, even if your last use was just a couple of weeks ago. We talk about the strengths and weaknesses of the urine drug tests, how to attack them with the right products and methods, and even offer up what we believe to be the best product on the market.
The techniques we describe here are backed by science, and as long as you follow our advice, you’ll be ready to pass the test.
The Urine Drug Test
As Sun Tzu says in The Art of War, “Know your enemy.” Understanding how urine drug tests work is key to beating them.
Types of Drug Test
There are two kinds of tests.
The most common and quickest urine drug test is known as the immunoassay, or IA test. The IA test doesn’t actually test for the presence of drugs directly in your urine. Rather, it relies on the fact that certain drugs, when present in your system, will create a unique and detectable immune system response. IA tests are very fast, but also run the risk of false positives.
This potential for false positives is why there’s a second, more precise test known as the gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (GC-MS) test. The GC-MS uses both of its namesake techniques to look for drug-related compounds in your urine. This test takes a few days to do and is quite expensive, so it’s usually done to confirm an IA positive.
Random drug tests can use both types, while pre-employment screening is usually just the quicker IA test. Regardless of the method used, you’ll rarely be asked to provide a pee sample on the spot. Rather, you’ll be given a specific time and testing location to visit, which gives you time to prepare.
Drug testing labs or facilities are usually independent of your workplace. Once you get there, you’ll be brought to a bathroom by an escort who’ll keep an eye on you while you urinate. They won’t necessarily observe you directly, and usually you’ll be turned away. Most of the time, the water supply will be turned off until after you pass your sample.
Aside from the presence of drugs, your urine sample will be tested for pH level, specific gravity, color, and other characteristics, as well as chemical makeup including creatinine, uric acid, phosphate, sodium, and potassium levels. These help the drug labs validate that your sample is indeed real pee and not a fraudulent product you swapped in.
How to Pass Urine Drug Test for THC
When you use a drug, it leaves behind trace metabolites that remain in your system for a certain amount of time. Every drug’s metabolites are unique, and the window during which they can be detected by a drug test differs from drug to drug.
Here are a few of the most common durations, by drug type.
- Barbiturates: 7 days
- Benzos: 1-7 days
- Meth: 2-5 days
- Morphine: 2-5 days
- Heroin: 2-5 days
- PCP: 5-6 days
- Cannabis: 1-30 days
- Cocaine: 1-3 days
As you can see, good ol’ Mary Jane likes to settle down a bit and spread her roots before she leaves. That’s a problem for many users when faced with a drug test. Here are a few tips that can help you out.
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Look for the Maximum Window of Your Drug
If you know in advance when your drug test is, then you have exactly that amount of time to get clean. Think about how long it’s been since you last used, add the number of days between now and the test date, and compare it to your drug’s testing window. If it’s greater than the window, then you stand a good chance of passing the test.
Exercise Up to the Day Before Your Test
There are a lot of conflicting reports about exercise’s effect on drug test results. Some studies suggest that because THC is fat-soluble, it gets released when you burn fat during a workout. However, very little THC actually ends up in the urine, and most drug tests are checking for THC metabolites, which aren’t affected by working out.
What exercising does affect is your metabolism, specifically increasing it. The faster your metabolism, the more quickly the drug metabolites stop showing up in your urine. Do some aerobic workouts during the days leading up to your urine drug test to eliminate as much of the metabolites as possible.
Don’t Trust the Pseudoscience
The Internet has brought unprecedented access to information, but all the same, anyone can post anything they want, including utter hot garbage, and pass it off as real advice. And believe us, there’s a lot of hot garbage out there about drug test advice.
Some of the most common old wives’ tales about drug tests include passing one by drinking cranberry juice, baking soda, or goldenseal. None of these work in passing drug tests, so don’t bother with them! Instead, do your research and trust real science.
Skip Any Medication Wherever Possible Before the Test
Many antibiotics and prescription medications can show up as false positives in drug tests, especially the immunoassay test. Try to avoid taking any medication before your test to avoid this risk. If you need to, bring your medication with you and demonstrate that you’re currently taking them.
Pee Several Times before the Test
Don’t give your first urination of the day as your sample. That’s when it’s most concentrated. Instead, urinate 1-2 times before the test to improve your chances and lower the metabolite levels in your pee.
We recommend you get one of these at urine drug test kits to test your sample before going for the real test.
Drink a Lot of Water, But Not Too Much
2-3 days before your test, increase your water consumption up to the recommended daily limit. That means eight 8oz glasses of water or just under 2 liters. While this recommendation is sometimes thought to be a little over the top, you’ll need it to dilute the metabolite concentration in your pee. You’ll notice your pee getting clearer as you do this.
The day of your test, reduce your drinking habits back to your normal amount. You don’t want to drink too much water, because not only will your drug metabolites be diluted, but so will the rest of your normal urine components. Drug test labs will invalidate your sample if it is too dilute!
Use Synthetic Pee Products to Replace Your Urine
If you can’t pass a pee test with your own pee, then don’t use your own pee!
Sounds silly, right? Like, what would you actually use?
The answer is found in synthetic pee, which is a product designed to mimic a clean sample of human urine that is completely drug-free. Millions of users around the world have either used synthetic pee, or keep a sample of it in order to pass a drug test.
Synthetic pee is easy to use, and with the right techniques and some brass balls, you’ll be able to sneak a vial in and drop it into your sample cup.
Check this page for more information on the best synthetic kits we recommend.
Don’t Do Drugs
Yeah, yeah, abstinence is a cop-out. But hey, we wouldn’t be able to call this a good guide if we didn’t include it. By abstaining from drugs way past the testing window, you’ll be able to pass any drug test.
Best Way to Pass a Urine Test on Short Notice
#1. Use Quick Fix Synthetic Pee
Based on our research of the various products on the market, the one that’s most likely to save your butt at a drug test is Quick Fix! Quick Fix Synthetic Urine was made by the very same people who help calibrate the urinalysis equipment that drug testing labs use, and their expertise has led to the highest success rate on the synthetic pee market—99.987%, to be exact!
Quick Fix contains added urea and uric acid, making it among the making it the best fake pee product on the market. All of its components, as well as its pH level and specific gravity, are carefully tuned and measured in exact proportions so that no drug test will be able to tell the difference.
And not being able to tell the difference…makes all the difference! Passing just any cheap synthetic pee product puts your safety and livelihood at risk even more than getting a positive hit on a drug test. At least a positive pee sample still has a chance of merely sending you to therapy or giving you a rehab window—or at worst, costing your job. Meanwhile, cheating on a drug test with synthetic pee might actually get you fined or land you in jail.
Each Quick Fix kit contains a sample of synthetic pee, a temperature strip, and a chemical heater pack that self-warms and brings the sample up to a temperature range of about 96-98F degrees Fahrenheit, close enough to human body temperature. That’s everything you need to pass a urine test with short notice.
Using Quick Fix is easy. All you have to do is take the included sample of synthetic urine and pop it into the microwave for about ten seconds. Read the temperature strip and check if it’s the right temperature of 95-100F. Then, shake the heater pack to activate it, then attach it to the container. If you do every correctly the pad will keep the mixture at the correct temperature for up to 8 hours.
When the time comes to take the test, empty the contents of the Quick Fix bottle into your sample bottle, then shake it a little to get some natural bubble foam and make it look real. It’s that simple.
Quick Fix is constantly updated in response to changes in the methodology that drug testing labs use. Right now, it’s at version 6.2, which pre-mixes urea into the formula rather than having it separated, to be combined by the user. Each kit is good for two years, which means that you can store it for long periods of time, ready for use in the event of a random test.
Tips for Using Synthetic Pee Products
Synthetic pee products like Quick Fix are amazing, and drug testing labs are wising up to their use. It’s become an arms race of sorts to see how far drug tests’ methodology can advance ahead of synthetic pee’s ability to trick them. Here are some tips to keep you on the winning side.
Shake Your Pee Sample before Submission
Human pee naturally foams up due to the presence of various proteins, and because it’s ejected with a little force. Shake your pee sample to activate the natural or artificial foaming agents in your sample and give it a little more authenticity.
Heat Your Sample in the Microwave If You Don’t Have Enough Time
Whether you’re using a manual warmer that keeps your sample close to your body, or a chemical heat activator, sometimes you just won’t have enough time to heat your sample up to 95-100F. If your sample is at room temperature, pop it in the microwave at high for ten seconds to quickly bring it to the appropriate temperature.
Use a Fake Penis
If you feel that your observer is going to be…observing you closely, making it hard for you to slip your sample in, then you have the option of using a fake penis like Monkey Dong (read more about it here). Monkey Dong contain reservoirs in which you can store synthetic pee, and you can whip them out and squeeze them like a real dong to squirt out your sample without suspicion.
Passing a urine drug test isn’t hard with the right preparation and the right products to back you up. Quick Fix is our clear choice for the job, and it’s guaranteed to help you pass any urine drug test even with short notice. Keep a kit handy and you’ll be ready for anything.